It’s hard being black, female and ahem…from the suburbs. I know that I have danced on the identity line of not feeling black enough and certainly not being white enough. Most comments are along the lines of cultural disapproval like listening to the wrong music or speaking in an articulate manner.
But, there’s one comment that hurts the most: you’re not a hustler.
Let me explain. I have family members who grew up in the 70’s, 80’s and 90’s. They all share the same disposition that they worked hard to get what they wanted. They say I and others my age are spoiled. They shake their heads at the epidemic of ‘instant gratification’.
I agree with all these statements. Sometimes, I feel the need to prove my family wrong. Other times, I just shrug my shoulders feigning indifference. Today, I want to do something different.
I want to talk about ownership.
Virtually nothing in my parents’ house belongs to me. They had to work for that couch, the kitchen, the TV and many other things in their life. They earned it.
Why shouldn’t I work to earn something? Evolution proves that life itself is constantly working to get where it needs to be. Imagine if life was stagnant; we might still be cave people. In spite of this, I wrote down a list of what and how I have that is actually mine. Before that, I want to establish that there are two ways in which ownership exists: receiving a gift and working for it. There are nuances within these two ways.
Receiving a gift:
- Someone gives it by choice
- It’s limited due to people getting things for themselves the majority of the time
Working for it:
- Required to get what you want
- It’s unlimited due to always having the present ability to work for something
There are caveats for each. Living life off of gifts is risky because there is no guarantee someone will give you something and with that there is no guaranteed time when the gifts will be received. So one lives their life being reactive, kind of like a non-living thing. The only time one should be reactive is if they are dead or a thing.
Working for something, on the other hand, is guaranteed intermittent failure and pain from facing that failure. I know pain is a deterrent. I want it to be easy and comfortable. But how can it be? Easy and comfortable is already associated with being passive. If hard work was also easy and comfortable, then the existence of hard work ceases to exist.
Okay, with that established, it’s time to make a basic list of things I own.
What I Own:
- Laptop
- A birthday gift.
- Phone
- Purchased by a relative for communication.
- Clothes
- Most purchased by a relative.
- A few purchased from myself.
- Shoes
- Most purchased by a relative.
- A few purchased from myself.
I have not worked for these things. My environment provides a false sense of security and success. Why? Because my parents are the one who own and work for everything in the house. I’m not saying that you should become a materialist; I’m saying that it’ll help you rethink watching another episode on Netflix when you realize that you have to start building a life of your own. I know I am.